(Some) Pokemon are Dumb!

I’ll be honest, as much as I love Pokemon, there are some designs which always annoy me. When you create over 800 fictional monsters, there are bound to be a few bad ones, but when Game Freak mess up, they mess up BIG TIME! So, prepare yourself for along and angry rant about these mistakes. 3…2…1 RANT!

Let’s start with the elephant in the room. GEN 5! What happened to Vanilite? It’s almost like a game freak exec walked up to an ice cream van and saw the menu: Small tub, Large cone, Double cone and thought “Hmm. Lets make a Pokemon which embodies these, make the first evolution super cute to trick people into catching it and then reward them by evolving it into a derp!”. And the result? This!

Vanillish

And this guy knows exactly how garbodor was created:

Garbodor

And is it just me, or does Zorua just look like a quadripedal version of Shadow the Hedgehog?

Of course, while this is the worst full generation, there are individual pokes in other gens that are worse (koff koff-JYNX-koff koff). A common example of this is Voltorb and Electrode, but this is occasionally put down to Voltorb being deliberately simple, and Electrode is just it turned upside down. My counterargument:

Inkay and malamar

Nintendo even confirm this by making you TURN YOUR 3DS UPSIDE DOWN TO EVOLVE IT! When Grimer evolves into Muk, it gets bigger. Magnemite to Magneton: add two more magnemite. Doduo to Dodrio: ADD ANOTHER HEAD!

And, as if the original gen one Pokemon weren’t bad enough, they made some of them worse:

DERPIEST TAIL EVER!

IT’S GULPIN’S FREAKIN’ FACE!!!

I’M DONE.