AN IDEAL BAT-CAST

Let’s get straight to it. See, Batman movies are a mixture of wonderful to awful. It’s mainly because of the actors or actresses picked to bring the heroes, villains and sidekicks to life. 1997’s Batman and Robin is a generally taboo subject among fans and enthusiasts, just because of George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Uma Thurman was alright, but Alicia Silverstone? A good actress, but isn’t Batgirl supposed to be ginger? I could probably ramble on about this for quite a while, but I’ll stop now. I promise.

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But who would be the ideal cast for a Batman film? If we were to ignore the newer depictions of him and the other characters? Well…

Batman – Clive Owen – In order to play Batman, you need to play Bruce Wayne. He has both the Bruce Wayne swagger and the Batman’s solemn style.

Robin (Tim Drake) – Jack Gleeson – He’s young, so that’s a check, and he’s great as Joffrey in Game of Thrones, but I think he’d make a good Tim Drake version of the character, because Jason Todd meets his end (spoilers!) and Dick Grayson is Night-Wing.

Batgirl / Oracle – Emma Stone – Okay, as mentioned above, Barbara Gordon is definitely a redhead. Emma Stone has the right face, and she doesn’t require any makeup as she looks the part already.

Joker – Cameron Monaghan – Technically, he does play him already. Well, before the incident with the chemical bath, anyway. He brings life to Jerome Valeska in the TV show Gotham, by the good old people at Fox, who brought us the Simpsons and the X Files. I took one look at Jerome, and thought, “YES!”

Harley Quinn – Melissa Rauch – The Joker’s psychotic girlfriend can be played by Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz from US sitcom the Big Bang Theory, she is small and can change her voice easily. Cast this person immediately!

Alfred – Bob Newhart – Another Big Bang actor, this old guy would make a stern but caring Alfred.

Riddler – David Tennant – We need no explanation for this one. Ex-Doctor David John McDonald makes a perplexing but hilarious riddle-man.

Catwoman – Danielle Harris – She looks completely Gothic. Need I say more? Black hair, dark eyes… this has Selena Kyle all over.